I’ve seen shooting stars and comets, but never a fireball that swept the arc of the sky with such intensity that it could have been a small, crashing plane, a tragedy, a heartbreak….but was, as I verified the next day, a bit of stardust falling to kiss the Earth…..Since that sighting I’ve had waves of intense anxiety like a dread.Read More
I could barely move without seizing up and falling over from pain, but I had things to do, so I kept up my schedule until I ended up on the couch, unmoving for 24 hours at which point I had to go out to a dentist appointment. I verrrrryyyy slowly made my way to the car, to the appointment, to the post office. On the way I saw that the tide was high and the waters calm ~ perfect swimming conditions.Read More
But I keep making things harder than they have to be.
It took my back going out yesterday to find the answer: Because I feel guilty for all the gifts that have been bestowed upon me in this life. And I worry that if I dive fully into the world of creative chaplaincy that I see glimpses of, it will reek of selfishness...which is the trait I'm most afraid of embodying.Read More
Yesterday I was having an imaginary conversation with someone I'd recently met. I was telling this holographic gentleman about how I was going to the Chaplaincy Institute of Maine in the fall. Amazingly, even in my head the word "chaplaincy" was difficult to say. For some reason it doesn't easily roll off the tongue, mine at least.Read More
So I took a minute and a half to tell the gal with nothing better to do about how I'd first seen this fruit which-darn-it-I-can't-remember-what-they-are-called when a friend of mine and I saved the day for a total stranger in a small bistro in a tiny town in England.Read More
It’s become very clear to me that rejection is a constant in this journey of life. Some of us choose to lessen the pain of rejection by suppressing our truest selves before others can see, know, and judge us either worthy or unworthy of community and connection. It seems that I am an expert when it comes to rejection and carrying on in the face of rejection. But before this last week, I didn’t realize that the most constant rejection I faced was not from casting directors or longed for suitors but from myself. I’ve lived the last 48 years inhabiting small bits of myself, rejecting the rest for fear of being abandoned, unloveable, intimidating, alone, unacceptable. And it is time for that to stop.Read More
Our young people are living in war zones. And our president is playing golf while his cronies are offering up thoughts and prayers. The only cause that is being honored is the right to bear arms; the only enemy is the the liberal left who wants to make it hard for folks to own a gun. What are the impressionable and vulnerable young folks of our nation supposed to learn from that? What are we imprinting on their hearts and minds?Read More
So often we shrink away when people offer even just praise for our gifts, money is even more complicated. And when those gifts are of the creative kind, the subjective variety, all sorts of insecurities rear their ugly heads and tell us, “Oh, they are just being nice”, “This is really rubbish, so give me less”, or something along those lines.
wish I could tell you what the difference is. I’m not sure. I only recognize, at this point, the almost startling inner calm that I’m feeling today that comes from receiving graciously, from side-stepping the knee jerk response of playing small or shirking from compliments of work well done, may they be verbal or monetary.Read More